Maggie, at From Cave Walls, and Lauren, at LSS Attitude of Gratitude, alternate hosting Throwback Thursday. This is my take on their questions.
- Who in your family was the person who made and enforced rules? It was a joint effort with Mum and Dad, however Mum was the person who would smack me if I was naughty, but Dad just had that disappointed tone. I would complain to my dad when he got home, but he would just say – what did you do? I couldn’t give him an answer because I wasn’t listening to Mum.
- Did you grow up with many rules, or was your life a little more flexible? There weren’t many rules. Mainly if I were in company I needed to behave, but at home it was a lot more relaxed. I was the youngest, and my mum always worried more about me than my siblings. I was allowed sleepovers when I got a job at sixteen, and had to be in by six o’clock (or before it got dark)
- Were you a rule follower or a rule breaker? I was a rule follower, but I pushed the boundaries with Mum. As I said, it was more, is it worth a smack on the leg? Will I get my own way eventually. With Dad, all he had to do was say no, and I would listen.
- How were discipline and – in contrast – rewards managed in your household? I was given pocket money for doing the washing up, or hoovering. I was taught to respect my elders, and be polite. At school I would listen to the teachers, because I didn’t want to upset my parents. We were all taught from an early age, to be kind, to animals and people.
- Were you given the opportunity to plead your case in matters of disagreement? No (lol).
- What tools did your parents use – ‘I’m going to count to three‘ or ‘don’t make me get up‘ or a time-out chair? The counting to three happened a lot. Along with if you don’t stop running on that wall, and break your legs, don’t come running to me.
- Did fear of discipline curb your desire to break or bend the rules? I didn’t fear discipline. My parents weren’t strict, in any sort of horrible way.
- Did your upbringing influence the way you (as an adult) managed rules in your own home? At first I used to smack my daughter, if she had been naughty, but that stopped when I realised I was angry, and shouldn’t have been that way with her. I grounded my daughter, and son, and took away their valuables (internet cable, TV, and friends visiting) Although my son rarely had anyone round, my daughter had friends. If they went against rules, they weren’t invited again.
- Were you ever ‘grounded’? Do you want to share the story? Grounded never really happened growing up.
- Did you break rules your parents never knew about? Want to confess and leave with a clear conscious? No? I think the worst I ever did was telling my mum I was staying around a friend’s house, when I was actually at an all night party. I was sixteen, and working. Looking back now, I know I wouldn’t have done that. Being a mother, I wouldn’t have wanted my daughter to be that vulnerable. I hope that she feels she can talk to me about anything. Although at thirty-one, there will probably be a few white lies she told me. Saying that the worst I ever had was her getting high on blue food colouring and throwing chocolate at the rats at the train station.
2 thoughts on “Throwback Thursday”
The disappointment in the voice of someone we love and respect is the worst feeling as a child – at least it was for me. I love that you can reflect on the decisions you made as an adolescent and understand how vulnerable you might have been and want better for your daughter! That’s growth! Thanks for joining in this week.
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I love your reflection aboout the all-night party. Yes, I really do hope your children feel like they can talk to you about anything. I certainly didn’t have that feeling growing up.
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