Today’s word is “visceral.”
A fear of change, but this visceral fear couldn’t be shaken loose. No matter how hard Sheridan tried to use the facts to stop feeling so worried, they rushed at her when she least expected it.
It was only a new job, but she had gone through the interview, and her qualifications were good enough.
She could do this, but her bladder said otherwise.
On maternity leave for a year, she was ready to return to work. More than ready. At first she wanted to be a full time mum, but missed the camaraderie and being part of a team, who could help older students with their learning.
She didn’t realise how important it was to her until she met her friend for lunch. It was meant to be a quick catch up, but it was so good to have someone else to talk to. It made her realise how hard she worked to get to be a teacher in adult education.
“He’ll be okay,’ her mum said, in a way of consolation.
“I could let them know I’ve changed my mind,’ she said.
“No, you’re going to be okay, and so is Brian. We’re going to soft play, and he’ll meet other kids his own age. I promise, I’ll call you if there are any problems.”
With one last hug, I picked up my handbag and walked out the door. She looked to her packed lunch, and for the first time there were no nerves. It felt like her first day back at secondary school.
New faces, new people and a new routine, but she needed to do this. It wasn’t like this decision was thought about in great detail. Brian would always be her first priority, but there was a whole world out there, and fear couldn’t rule her life.
The sun beamed down her garden path, and all at once, the nerves were gone. The street was busy, cars rumbling down the road, and teenagers making their way to school. Mrs Meriton, from next door, was walking her terrier.
It was a nice day for a walk, and if she were lucky, she might be able to get a latte from Greggs and an Eccles’s cake. A row of houses stretched out into the horizon, and anything was possible today.