
How comfortable are you with asking for help when the favour is something that will take a lot more time and work (and money with the gas price situation right now) than your relationship with the other party might warrant?
I am not very uncomfortable about asking for any help, even if it is something that won’t be a lot of work. I needed a lift the other week. Having no lights at the back of my car is slightly illegal. When I asked, I immediately regretted my actions because I didn’t want to put that person out. They kindly agreed to give me a lift, but I couldn’t stop feeling guilty about asking in the first place.
I will only ask if there is nothing else I can do.
When you are closer to the person, it is easier, but I still feel guilty. My ceiling (false, and put up by the previous owner) needs to come down. I needed to ask my son if he could put half towards it. He didn’t mind, because it is needed for the house, but I still felt guilty.
My daughter is an expert at asking for favours, and I don’t mind helping, when I can. I wouldn’t mind, but she has her own house, and boyfriend, but she knows I will always help. There is always the granddaughter card, which never fails for me to part with my money.
To be fair, it is normally, to buy food, when they are struggling. I remember my own mum being there for me when I was struggling to pay a bill, and find money for food. It is so much worse now, considering the gas and electric are going up, and interest rates too. Not to mention everything else.
When I am better off financially, I will help my son too, plus the house will go to my children if anything happens to me. I want to be able to make them secure in their future so they don’t need to ask for any favours.
It isn’t easy to ask, and I want them to be happy and safe.
asking isn’t easy!
I am glad your son and daughter have you! Your such a good mom!
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Family are the obvious ‘ go to’ when more intense favors need to be asked, and it is great that you have a good relationship with your children and they with you. I am estranged from what’s left of my family and they make it clear it’s an imposition to be asked. Even though one of them is retired and spends his time playing with his toys — a motorcycle, quad bike, or working on his truck. Not for me to judge and I have stopped bothering to ask.
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