https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/category/what-do-you-see/ and this is my interpretation of their prompt.
Walking through the darkness, and the couple in front of me are mere shadows against the fog. It is like someone has taken a paintbrush and is slowly erasing the light. In two months, I won’t be able to see anything. There may be some light, my doctor tells me, I won’t be completely lost.
Yet that is how it feels to me – It is like I am lost in the mist, with only my hearing to get me back to the pathway, which leads me to the road near the cliffs. It is my easiest route to work, but the most dangerous.
One false step, and I will be at the bottom.
It’s where I feel most at peace – I can hear the seagulls fighting over a scrap of food, or the gentle ebb and flow of the ocean. The salt lingers in the air, reminding me of my first holiday with my parents. Joe always loved the beach, and I used to follow him to all the rock pools. If we were lucky, there would be a crab’s claw, or even some colourful shells.
I watch as the old couple disappear into the distance.
Left with only the shadows for company, I stop, avoiding my own thoughts in the process. When I’m working on my story, I don’t think of my husband. Now there is nowhere to hide. Among the trees, with a manic silence surrounding me, I have to be one with my fears.
‘Why me?’ I shout, not expecting anyone to be honest. I miss him so much, like every breath I take, is winding me. It gets easier, everyone tries to tell me that. Yet, Joe never got easier. I think of what Tony told me, about his counsellor, and maybe one day I will be ready, but it’s all a bit raw right now. Talking won’t make things easier, finding his killer will.
Perhaps then, I will finally move on.