In Tune

Written for https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/category/what-do-you-see/

All her boats trundled behind each other, the calm waters of her mind in tune with the nature. She closed her eyes, did as her therapist instructed.

‘Where are you?’

‘On a river, I am in a boat.’

She smiled, memories of her dad on a sunny afternoon. They would go fishing, or rather, he would. His lessons, informing her of each type of fish, helped her write her stories. Her favourite; the AleWife.

A tiny blue fish, sending blue sparks across the water.

With her pen and paper, she wrote a poem to send to her best friend.

‘Where are you going?’

His voice and the ripples moved, as if an angel whispered her secret to existence itself.

‘There’s an island where a swan protected her signets.’

It was a pure moment where bullies hadn’t taken a chunk out of her confidence. School, and the two boys who tormented her. A walk home from school, where sticks and stones became her mantra, and she was unable to inform the one person who might have taken action to stop her tears.

She recollected his words the first time she confessed her breakdown. How he listened to her, and even when she disclosed her symptoms, he never caused her to feel insecure. Just shared good advice. Instead of days, too scared to decide what she wore, she was gradually recovering.

‘Focus on that. Take the box of your worries, tie them up in a bow. Throw the box in the water. Watch it sink to the bottom, and count backwards to zero.’

When she settled at three, she opened her eyes.

Finding a method to push fear aside, to enable her to manage her panic attacks. Her trauma real; a way to heal possible. A few months ago, she didn’t think it was possible. Hope? Yes. She smiled for the first time in months.

Published by writerravenclaw

I am a fifty something mother of two grown up children, and one beautiful grandchild. I have been married for nearly thirty-four years. My first book was published ten years ago. I wrote my book Sticks and Stones because of my experience of being bullied at school.

30 thoughts on “In Tune

  1. Ohh this is beautiful, Diana. You have taken us on a rollercoaster of emotions.

    Focus on that. Take the box of your worries, tie them up in a bow. Throw the box in the water. Watch it sink to the bottom, and count backwards to zero.

    This is some great advice. As someone who suffers from panic attacks, I know how difficult it can be. I’ll definitely keep this in mind for the next time when panic threatens to drown me.

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